This is my life.

yep. that's it! i keep screwing up. but the truth is... God still loves me. 

no idea why He'd want to keep loving me.. but He does.

it's kind of incredible.

life objective?

 As i was looking at my blog, and thinking about how I should probably update the title, "here with a purpose", because I am no longer in Guatemala, I realized that I wasn't just in Guatemala for a purpose, I'm also here, on earth, for a purpose. I guess I haven't really thought much about this, because I have no idea what my purpose here on earth is, just like I didn't know what my purpose in Guatemala was. I knew that God had me there for a reason. That I made it into the Outtatown program because God wanted me to be there. So I guess I'm here on earth because God wants me here. I don't feel like I can do any great things, or change anyone's life... but God thinks differently. He sees all the small things I do, like smile at the person passing me on the street, who is having a horrible day, or buying a drink for my friend just because i felt like it. There are so many small things we can do without even realizing that they're significant to someone else. So is this my purpose? To do small things for others that make them happy? I'm not sure... but I do know that God put me on this earth for a reason, and one day I hope I can figure out what it is. These are just some thoughts I've had recently that I guess I just needed to get out.

My life right now seems really insignificant to me. So these thoughts are really hard for me to actually believe as truth. I wake up in the morning, go to work for 3 hours, come home and maybe run, maybe sit in my room doing nothing… and then I go back to work for another 3 hours. How can I be serving God while this is the way I’m living? I guess I could start with this

Hold your tongue.

Don’t talk about that person that way.

Forgive the friend you haven’t talked to.

I want to show you the sunset.

Look and see how short life is and how your troubles are not worth worrying about.

Buy that bottle of wine and call your friend and see if he can get together to talk about the thing he’s been wanting to tell you.

I read this in a book a while back, and I realized that I haven’t been listening to God for the random little things that he wants to show me, or what he’s been telling me to do. It doesn’t have to be hard… I just need to listen. Maybe that’s my purpose. Listening. And doing. Can that be it? Just following God?

This doesn’t sound right to me.

Courtney’s purpose in life: To Follow God.

I mean… it seems easy. Like I have no objective in life. But I do! Following God is my objective. That can get me so far in life. He’ll show me what I should be doing with my life when I don’t know. And even if He doesn’t show me clearly, He’ll be there to guide me.

Sorry I’m all over the place. I guess this is my way to sort my thoughts. So, I guess that’s it. That’s me. That’s my objective. 

The Posada Belen Haunting.

Posada Belen Haunting from Jeff Maeck on Vimeo.




We had a little spare time at the Posada Belin in Antigua. Enjoy :)

Such love is this for me.

I was watching this video in church in Guatemala one day, and it really hit me. Jesus really loves us this much. That He would throw away His life on earth, so that when we're done living ours, we can join Him in heaven. He not only threw His life away for us, He threw it away on a cross. The most painful, humiliating death you can endure. 
This is Jesus, in His glory- King of heaven, dying for ME.





How can Jesus love ME this much...
It's unfathomable.
And yet, it's true... and it's real.
and it happened for me.