1/30 Things.

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20 random things.

man. I am pretty random sometimes, so this shouldn't be hard. But, I will probably be busy doing something, suddenly remember something I want to write, and run back to my computer.

I can't think of anything. I'm going to go clean my bathroom and hopefully something will come to me there.

1. I am the worst procrastinator. I procrastinated on cleaning that bathroom all day. And finally... when I didn't have anything else to do, I picked up the rag to clean. Hopefully this changes when I move out, into my own home!!

2. I love Jesus. He is #1 in my life, and I cant imagine where I would be today without Him.

3. I have the best fiancé in the world! I know I talk so much about him, and maybe some of you are sick of it... but he's my best friend in the world, and He wants to spend the rest of his life with me. It really is a dream come true. :)

4. One of my major problems in my life at the moment is how fried my hair is. It's SO frustrating. I guess that just shows how great my life is right now. Thank you Jesus.

5. This is the first year of my life that I'm not playing Ringette. I miss it!! Although its nice to have a free-er schedule on weekends.

6. I desperately want to travel the world one day... however, I'm pretty sure we wont make it to many places. I told Mike that when we die, we're going to travel around "heaven on earth". That started a whole new conversation on what Heaven will be like...

7. I have this huge desire to be fluent in spanish... but I have NO desire to sit down and learn it. Someone pay me to take spanish classes please!!

8. I have 4 amazing sisters. I love them to pieces! And I am the youngest, which means that I was the spoiled one. (still living rent free with mom and dad...) I never hear the end of it!

9. I want 4 babies. Not all at once though. 2 girls, 2 boys.

10. I really need to take a shower right now. And I'm procrastinating once again.

11. I REALLY want another tattoo. But. I wish I would've thought my first one through more. I would have gotten it done differently.

12. Me and Mike just bought a Mac Mini! (well, mike bought it... and I'm using it until he's home) Figuring this thing out is just too much fun.

13. Speaking of Mike... He's gone to Regina for work for 3 weeks... which you probably know, if you know me at all. I talk about it all the time. It sucks.

14. I cooked a meal by myself today. It wasn't that hard. I think I'll be okay when I move out.

15. Songs that I can relate to my life are my favourite. I always play them for Mike and hope he notices, but he doesn't, so I have to point it out.

16. I'm not proud of my past. I made mistakes... but I love to look back and see where they've gotten me. I often go back and read messages I sent to my friends, or my old journals, just to remember the way that I used to think.

17. I'm having a hard time thinking of 4 more random things about me...

18. I have a million books, hoping one day I'll read them.. but I never do. I don't know how to motivate myself to read them.

19. I tried not using shampoo in my hair for about a month, but everyone kept telling me how gross and weird they thought it was, so I gave in and started using shampoo again.

20. I have no idea what my dream job is. I wish I enjoyed working.

That's all.
Thanks for reading :)

30 Things

I really like visiting other blogs and seeing what kind of posts they make. I follow a blog called Hopes and Dreams, and found a 30 day question challenge. I figured it would make me think and maybe help me know myself better. And you will get to know me better too, I suppose!

Here we go!

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What's the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

So, we'll see how far I'll get with these...

It's Almost Christmas!

It's almost Christmas Time!  I get so excited this time of year. I think this year a little bit more, because I finally have my other half to spend my Christmas with. He's been gone for a month now, coming home tomorrow - just in time for Christmas. And we are definitely going to have the best Christmas ever because we have each other.  And Jesus of course, because He is the reason for the season!
now, some Christmas questions!
1. What was your favorite gift given to you as a child?

I remember one christmas I got the Kelly Car. oh boy, i loved that thing. played with it all day long. It had a little wagon on the back too, so that Kelly's friends could ride along. Best. Toy. Ever.

2. Christmas is almost here, what is that one Christmas song you could listen to on repeat? Celine Dion. She's always been there at christmas time, and will definitely continue to be :)

3. What are a few of the items on your Christmas list this year?
 -stuff for my new house!
-the couple willow tree. i love willow trees... i want to collect them.
-an apron for when i start to cook all by myself!

4. Do you and your family have any special holiday traditions? Explain. Oh yes. Every Christmas Eve, we go to the church for the kids program, which is always amazing. I've been in the program many many years, and now I finally get to sit back and relax and watch. It's always amazing seeing how many people come out to the program, and everyone is always so happy to be there.  After the program my family goes back to my parents house and has a chocolate fondue! delicious. We all open stockings and drink wine, play lots of silly games and laugh our heads off, and we stay up way too late. This is definitely my favorite part of Christmas.

last year, just before stocking opening. Dad and his girls :)

a whole pile of christmas socks! so fun.
5. Which do you prefer: wrapping paper or gift bags? Why? Wrapping paper!! its so much more fun to wrap, and to open. It's all around better. 
I hope you all have an amazing Christmas and have as much fun as I will!

Jesus' gift

As I sit here, wishing my fiancé was sitting next to me, I remember what a gift it is to actually have him in my life. 

I am so grateful that he has only been gone 4 weeks, and that he will be in my arms at Christmas time. 

I am so grateful that we have each other, and that I'm no longer wishing and waiting for that special guy to come along. 

I feel so blessed to have everything I need and want this Christmas. 

I have a wonderful family that loves me, an amazing fiancé who can't wait to marry me, his amazing family who also loves me, and so many friends who mean so much to me.

I just need to stop for a minute.

Pause my life for a minute and thank God for this. 

He has done so many good things in my life, and no matter what I do to wrong Him, He still loves me more than any of my family or friends, and even more than Mike does. 

He loves me.

I was reading a devotional this morning about Jesus giving God the Father the most amazing gift. Jesus made it possible for us to be a holy and blameless present to God when He died on the cross. So not only do I need to be thankful, I need to be the best present that I can be for God. To really be holy and blameless. To try my best to live the way God wants me to live.

He's done so much for me... I can do this for Him right? At Christmas time?

I'll just have to keep praying that God will help me to be blameless towards Him.

Always Kiss Me Goodnight

One thing I really appreciate about mine and Mike's relationship is that we ALWAYS kiss each other goodnight. Even when we're not together...
Let me explain...


Mike has been gone for 3 weeks now, doing some work in Regina. I think it would be around 18 or 19 days out of 21 that we have either called each other or Skyped each other. I miss him so incredibly much when he's gone, and I need that time to debrief my day with him, and to just hear his voice telling me that he loves me. And at the end of every phone call or Skype call, I hear mike going "MWAH!" on the other side. He kisses me even when we're not together.

I love him. And that is one of my favorite things about him. :)

HIS+HER Q+A 13

I follow a blog called "Love The Grows", and she does couples question and answer every week. I thought it would be fun to get into. So, tonight, I'm skyping with Mike, and asking him 10 questions :) Here it goes:

Describe how your other half dresses.
His: Beautifully, Modestly, Tastefully, and usually pretty fashionable. Always matchy. Not super fancy, but kind of retro? I dont know. You dress a little bit hipster sometimes...
Her:  Jeans, T-shirt and a hoodie. Nothing special, but still good lookin! 

What is one quality your other half has that you hope your children inherit?
His: Your smile. Yep. It's my favorite.
Her:  His kind heart and honesty.

What are some amazing talents your other half has?
His: Beautiful singing voice. I love hearing you sing.
Her: He is always willing to do things for others, and does things to his best ability!

What team/school are you an anti-fan of/is your biggest rival?
His: Justin Bieber? (i re-explained the question, and he still said Justin Bieber...) "that question doesnt make sense to me. I don't have a rival"
Her: i don't have a rival. never cared about sports!! or school...

Who was your very first crush?
His: Jill Poitras. It was probably grade 1. I guess I thought she was cute...
Her: I'm trying to remember... i think i'm going to say Evan? We went to church together, he was the only boy in my age group. I think all of us girls had a crush on him!! 

What gets you inspired?
His: God. The capacity of the human heart. Hearing about other good things inspires me to do good things.
Her: To get inspired in life, I would say looking up other blogs and articles, reading my bible or devotional books, and trying to apply them to my life. for everything else.. pinterest?? haha. I get inspired to make food, do crafts, buy cool things... all that.

What's a TV show that has ended that you wish would come back?
His: Firefly. (me- i don't know what that is) not a lot of people do unless you're a nerd. there's like 13 episodes about cowboys and space. 
Her: Friends. I could watch friends all the time... ALL. THE. TIME.

What is one of the first conversations you remember having together?
His:About going to church. you were telling me about how Brian Head Welch played at church at the niverville fair. i thought, this girl goes to church? she's awesome.
Her: I remember you telling me that you go to summer camp, and church, and i remember thinking that you are my soul mate! 

What is a hobby you would like to get into at some point?
His: skating? maybe play hockey eventually... at least learn how to play it a little bit.
Her: Making pretty wall art. And just DIY stuff in general. I want to make things for my future home.

About when did you know you were in love with your other half?
His: Right after we started dating. I would say it would have to be when we went to go see "the vow", and i wanted nothing but to hold your hand and tell you how i felt. 
Her: I knew you were my soul mate the day I met you, but I guess I first knew I was in love with you when I told you everything about my past, and you hugged me and accepted me, and wanted to continue seeing me. I think I knew that it was love right then.

That was fun. I think we will continue doing these every week :) 
I like getting to know random things about my wonderful fiance. 

A little bit about me!

I figured that maybe some people reading this don't know me very well, so maybe I should explain a little bit who I am, who I was, and why I love Michael Jacob Bouwman.

Currently:

Drinking: Slice of Life Coffee ... Delicious. 

Listening to: She and Him Christmas ... Getting me in the Christmas mood for sure. Love it.

Wearing: Leggings, comfy tank tops, and a white 3 quarter length shrug that I NEVER wear because I'm always too cold. But, I'm staying home all morning which makes it okay.

Thinking: I really should be cleaning... or baking, or showering, or anything other than sitting in front of my computer. Lately I've spent a lot of time in front of my computer... mostly on pinterest, planning my WEDDING!

I'm getting married. still a foreign thought. and to this handsome guy!

Try not to be too jealous ladies, He's taken :)

A little story behind how I knew he was the one...

One day at CMU, sitting in  my friend, Katie Wiebe's dorm, I was frustrated with myself and how I felt like I was a completely different person than I wanted to be. I was making bad decisions and not following God's plan for me. Falling for boys that would NEVER work out, partying and drinking much more than I should, and not even talking to God about what He thought was right for me. 

But, finally I decided I needed a change (not that it actually happened until a few years later...) but I wrote a list for myself. Chynna Pauls was definitely the one that helped me with this. Thanks Chynna! :)

December 2, 2010

This is what the list looked like:

The New, Improved COURTNEY.

-1 or 2 tattoos

-more ear piercings

-brown hair (LONG)(or short... we'll see)

Courtney will:

-go out on some weekends without getting drunk

-have good friends that make her feel good

-look to God when she feels - sad    -scared    -alone    -frustrated    -confused    -& HAPPY (give thanks)

-be independent and make choices for herself

-be okay without a boyfriend (or with...!)

-be a good friend, and be there for others when they need her

-NOT give out her number at clubs

-NOT SETTLE

-follow God's plan and not her own

And then I decided in order not to settle, I needed to write a list of what that future boyfriend would be like. Here it goes:

Courtney’s Future Boyfriend.

He will pursue me (and NOT give up)

He will not call me “hot”, or tell me I have a nice ass

He will tell me I am beautiful, and perfect for him

He will be smart, but not a genius

He will have legible writing

He will figure out my love language, and do anything to make me feel loved.

He will be good-looking, no matter what he’s wearing

He will lift me up when I’m sad

He will be romantic – give me gifts

He will pray with me

He will have KILLER eyes

He will eat way more than me, but still be skinny…

He will travel with me

He will settle down with me – near my family

He will give me a beautiful family

If we are apart…

     -He will call me as much as possible

     -He will tell me he misses me

     -He will rush to come back to me, no matter what it costs him

He will tolerate my music choices in the car, and sing along with me

He will accept the fact that I will make him be healthy

He will fall in love with my nieces and nephews

He will laugh at my dad’s jokes, and joke along with him

He will fit right into my family, without even trying

He will love my friends, and who I am when I’m with them

He will not pressure me physically, and will control me

He will let me take stupid pictures of us

He will love God more than he loves me

And this is how I knew that Mike was the one for me. The first day I met him, he told me he is a christian, he looked RIGHT into my eyes when he talked to me, I could read his writing(!!!), and he's cute, duh. 

Every date that we had, it seemed he checked one of those items off the list. I had finally found the guy that could be ALL those things for me, and more.

So there you  have it, ladies. Write a list... wait for the right guy to check off every single item on it, and then love him the way he deserves to be loved by a woman.

Best day of my life.

October 20: I got engaged to the love of my life. 

He took me out on a wonderful date, reminiscing many of our first dates at St Vital Park, where we poured our souls out to each other. St Vital Park is the place we went when we wanted to be alone. We would make a few rounds around the duck pond, and then sit in one of our cars for hours, talking, laughing and crying. 

So this is the place he brought me when he wanted to ask me to be his wife. Surprisingly, and thankfully, I was not expecting a proposal. 

At 11:00 at night, the duck pond looked beautiful. 

The lights shone on the pond, lighting up the entire area. 

The geese slept on the outskirts of the pond, slightly waking when we walked quietly past them.

Our hands held tight, we walked...

We walked until Mike got the courage to stop me, and tell me how beautiful I am, and how happy he is that I am in his life. He said the sweetest, most beautiful things. 

He then told me that he bought something for me, nothing big or special, just something that make him think of me. 

I must be a dummy for not squealing right then and there... I had to be sure it was a ring before I got too excited.

He told me to turn around.

I was shaking. I was nervous and excited. Trying to think of anything else he could have bought me. I was ready to turn around and find out.

"Can I turn around now?!"

"Yep"

I screamed so loud, and tears ran down my face as I saw a ring box in Mike's hand. 

He gets down on one knee.

"Courtney Jasmine Regehr... Will you marry me?"

Tears, laughter, squeals, more tears...

"Get up!! I want to hug you!!" 

I finally looked at the ring, after he placed in gently on my ring finger. It was the exact ring I wanted. I was shocked. He did this all without me having a clue. 

This was one of the best days of my life. The man of my dreams got down on one knee, professing his love, and asking me to love him back forever. And I will, I will love him for the rest of my life.

I know its been about a year since I've written anything on here... but I thought I'd start again. I love writing... so here you go. Here's your chance to read Courtney's thoughts.

Since being home from camp, I have felt incredibly lonely. Coming from this place of always having people around me, and always having someone to talk to, to back home, where I live alone with my parents. I dont have a job yet, so my days are spent at home alone. I've been trying to clean up my incredible mess from camp, and look for jobs, but I'm always alone in what I'm doing. It's such a huge change from being around people, and I just feel so sad...

What I realized this morning is that I'm not looking to God for my joy. At camp,  it's so easy to look to God when I'm feeling sad, because He's always the topic of conversation. I havent been taking my time in the mornings at home to praise God, and learn about Him, which is something I did every morning at camp. 

Tomorrow morning it starts. 

I need Jesus in my life. 

Without Him, I will always feel lonely...

I hope all of you feel the same way I do, and learn to crave your time with Jesus every day. 

It's so hard to crave time with Jesus with so many distractions. TV, my iphone, friends... life gets in the way. but the one thing I need to remember is all that Jesus did for me. He came as a human being, died a criminals death, and rose 3 days later, all to forgive MY sins. When I remember back to all those things, I can't help but want to spend time with Him. 

He deserves everything I have.

I just hope I can give it all to Him.

life has got to be the strangest thing.
people live, they love, and they die. that's all it is.
there is sorrow and pain, and there is joy and laughter.

sometimes its hard to find the balance between joy and sorrow.
i find myself laughing, and then realize that i should be sad,
or find myself crying, and realize that i have so much to smile about.

life is just strange.