Being Preggers!

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on my blog. 
I just looked back, and I stopped posting in March of this year, which just happens to be the month I found out I am pregnant! 

Life just flies by these days, and I feel like I never have a moment to just sit and reflect on what's happening. 

So I'm taking that moment now.

I have been writing a few exciting details of my pregnancy down, and I want to share them with you! 

May 25, 2014

The day I saw those 2 pink lines on the pregnancy test I had just taken, I screamed. "MIKE!!" Your daddy came running. "I'm pregnant. Is that okay?" I was nervous we weren't ready. But then again, we would probably never be ready, so God gave us a little push, letting us know we were indeed ready for you. Your daddy hugged me and kissed me, and told me everything would be amazing. I am so thankful for his support and love. He's an amazing man, and you're so lucky to have him as a daddy! 

It's been 5 weeks since that day, and I am getting so excited to meet you. I've bought you some adorable cloth diapers, some comfy blankets, and a super cute pair of shoes. This weekend we are going to take a picture, so we can tell everyone that you are coming! 

In the first 11 weeks of being pregnant with you, I have craved so many yucky foods. Sometimes I feel like a 4 year old because all I want is macaroni, hotdogs, cheese and sweets. I've been trying to force down my veggies to keep us healthy, but it's definitely difficult sometimes! 

Your daddy and I love you so much already, and we cannot wait to meet you, little one! We pray for you all the time, that you will grow up to be a Godly man or woman. Always remember that God is watching over you, and He loves you more than you can imagine. 

May 27, 2014

I heard your little heartbeat today! It is so good to hear you being alive in my tummy. I made it feel so much more real, you're really there, and you will be our baby! I can't wait to hold you in my arms. I love you so much already, baby. 

July 27, 2014

I felt your little kicks inside me for the first time! At first I thought it was just my heartbeat, but when it was irregular, I realized it was you moving around in there. I haven't felt you much since then, but I can't wait to feel your kicks again. I'm always poking you, and probably annoying you, trying to get you to move! It's a pretty amazing feeling, and I can't wait until they're strong enough for daddy to feel it too. 

August 1, 2014

Daddy and I got to see you on the ultrasound today. We saw all of your little body parts and I felt you moving around like crazy. This makes me so much more excited to meet you! 

August 12, 2014

daddy finally felt you kicking! We were laying in bed before going to sleep, and I felt your little kicks. I told daddy you were kicking me, so he put his hand on my tummy. I didn't expect him to feel anything, but then he looked at me and said, "was that a kick?" It was! You're getting strong, baby Bouwman.

September 1, 2014

a little more than 3 months left until we get to meet you, baby! You're growing so fast, and so is my belly! You've been moving like crazy, sometimes driving me crazy when you won't stop! But I know this means that you are alive and happy in there :) However, it seems as though you are shy, because whenever someone other than daddy tries to feel you kick, you decide to stop. Silly baby,

22 weeks

Please read this!

I remember posting this to Facebook a few years back, and I want to share it with you all again because it is that meaningful to me. 

Every time I read it, I hear God shouting at me, "I LOVE YOU! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?"

and I cry, because I know He does. 

He loves me so incredibly much, that I can't even begin to understand it.

Please read this.

You deserve to know how much God loves you!

Do you know how you’ve caught my eye, 

In the secret place, where you chose to die?

Do you know the way you move me?

Do you know the way you move me?

I've seen you there, longing to be mine.

I've heard the cry in the middle of the night.

I've seen you there reaching for understanding.

I've seen you there, longing to be mine. 

I've heard you say “I will go anywhere and I will do anything.”

And “I will give everything just to be with you.”

I’ve heard your words.

I remember the vow of your youth.

I remember your “yes”.

I remember the very setting of your soul.

And do you know how you’ve caught my eye,

In the secret place where you chose to die?

Do you know the way you move me?

Do you know the way you move me?

You’ve ravished my heart!

You’re my favourite one, the only one.

When I look at you you’re the only one I see.

You’ve ravished me!

I would stop this entire room just to tell you that my eyes are on you, and that my heart is for you. 

And I would stop this whole wide world just to tell you you’re not alone, that you are never alone.

All this reaching and all this longing – It is not in vain!

Wisdom will be justified. 

Just hang on and don’t give up.

Don’t give in. 

If you don’t quit, you win!

Listen to me...

Do you know how you’ve caught my eye,  

In the secret place where you chose to die?

You are more beautiful than tears, more wonderful than jealous love.

You are awesome as an army with banners.

You only see your weakness, but I see strength. 

There are so many - a multitude - that will never look back, but you keep on looking even though you’re looking through a mirror dimly lit. 

You keep on looking even though there’s unbelief and doubt.

But listen, listen…

You keep on coming, and looking, and seeking, and knocking, and asking, and loving me!

That’s all I ask..

You don’t even know the strength that you possess. 

So many would have grown bitter a long time ago, but you keep on coming, staying pliable underneath my hand.

I understand there’s pressure, but you don’t give up and you don’t give in...

If you don’t quit you win!

Just don’t give up, don’t give in!

You are more than a conqueror.

You’re more than this. 

You are the one I want!

Is that enough for you? To know you are the one I want? 

If you never move a man, is it enough to know that you’ve moved me?

Am I enough for you?

Because you are more than enough for me.

You’re the one I want, am I enough for you? 

Is it enough for you just to know that you’ve moved me? 

And if you never move man is it enough for you to know that you’ve moved my heart?

You are not just a project.

You are not just a trophy to show people how merciful I am.

You’re the one I want!

You are the one I want, like a fire within me!

Is it enough just knowing that you move me? 

Forever and ever I want you to be with me, where I am.

And do you know, how you’ve caught my eye,  

In the secret place where you chose to die?

You are not just my project.

You are the one I want! 

There’s more than just pity.

You’re the one I want.

You’re the one I want! 

Of all of creation you are my favourite.

You are the only one.

So few look back, and even the ones who do so often lose their way.

But you, my dove, have set your heart to go all the way. 

I’ll take you there.

All the way.  

Did you really mean it when you said that you would go anywhere?

And did you really mean it when you said that you’d be mine forever? 

And did you really mean it when you vowed that you’d do anything?  

Just give me everything and I’ll give you everything.

I’ll give you everything.

I’ll give you everything.

I’ll give you everything.

love

2 years ago, I was so afraid of love.

I told Mike I loved him, but did I really know what that meant?

There were a few times in our relationship where I got scared, and contemplated breaking up with him.

Our relationship was the real thing, something I had never experienced before. 

And that scared me to the point of almost throwing it all away.

I'm so happy I pushed through my fear, and had people in my life to encourage me to keep seeing Mike, and to see where it leads.

I remember listening to Mumford and Sons, After the Storm, and hearing the words 

There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

and I thought of Mike. 

I thought about how I shouldn't be afraid to love him.

I had been hurt before, and didn't want it to happen again. 

But with Mike it was different.

He wasn't afraid to love me, which proves to me that he was in it for the long haul.

God gave Mike to me, and me to Mike.

There was no reason to be scared.

And I thank God that he took away my fears and allowed me to love Mike.

He's kind of my favourite :)

February 18, 2012

Two years ago today, Mike Bouwman asked me to be his girlfriend.

We were at his house, on our second date, and I was so nervous I hardly said anything. We made supper together and listened to music. I was hoping the whole time that he didnt think I was boring for not talking a whole lot. I later found out that he was scared that I was going to be boring, but he liked me too much to let it change anything. 

its probably my good looks...

After supper we started a movie, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. I wanted so badly for him to put his arm around me,  but apparently he was nervous too.  Eventually he asked me if I wanted popcorn, and of course I did, so we went downstairs to use their fancy popcorn machine. Man, was that popcorn delicious!  While we waited for it to pop, mike asked me how I felt about this whole thing, if I had prayed and asked God for his blessing for us to date. I told him I did, and I felt good about it. He said he did too. Then we hugged. The longest and most meaningful hug I had ever had. We were both so incredibly excited and nervous.

Obviously we cuddled while watching the rest of the movie. 

And kissed a little bit.

I never wanted to leave.

But that was just the beginning of an amazing adventure that we are still living.

Im such a lucky girl for finding such an amazing partner in life. 

I thank God for bringing us together and never allowing us to part.

we have fun.

God's Masterpiece

Lately I've been a slave to my TV set.

I hate that I'm writing this here, but I feel as though it needs to be said, and heard, in order to change my priorities.

This past week in sunday school we were talking about transformations in people.

About how people can change from being a heroin addict, to a sober follower of Christ.

Or someone who curses like a sailor can clean up his act and speak positively to others.

Or someone who spends all their time in front of the TV, can turn the TV off, and give God the time He deserves.

I've been struggling lately, not just with watching TV, but filling up all my time with everything but God.

I make up excuses not to pray at night. I'm tired, I just need to sleep. 

I start eating my meals without thanking God that I have meals to eat.

I start my day off with the TV on instead of with my bible open.

This has to stop.

I've become so independent in my own life, when I need to be dependent on God in every aspect of my life.

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

I'm God's masterpiece?

He's working so hard on making me perfectly beautiful in his eyes?

Why am I not taking the time to do these good things he planned for me?

Why am I not taking time to listen to God, and figure out what these good things are?

I'm sure theres some of you out there who feel the same as I do, stuck in a rut, thinking you can do life alone.

But God is creating you into a masterpiece.

Listen to Him.

Figure out what He has planned for you.

Lets let God transform us into the beautiful masterpeice that we are.

Christmastime is my favourite time of year. 

Family gets together, they get loud and obnoxious and goofy, play tons of games, eat tons of food, and love every minute of it. 

At least, I do.

And in the Bouwman family, a baby was born! Ryder sure is a cutie. 

six months

Mike and I have been married for six months today, and what a better way to celebrate, than to watch our wedding video.

Today was filled with errands and running around, finishing Christmas shopping, picking up a few things, and taking photos for our Christmas card. 

One of the errands we had to run was picking up our wedding video from our friend Joey. 

When we got home at 8:00, I couldn't wait to put on the DVD and relive our wedding day. 

Eventually we got everything out of the car and got settled, and popped it in. 

It was amazing seeing it all again. Feeling the same feelings that I did on that day, and remembering special moments that Mike and I shared. 

I wish I could go back in time and relive the whole day, but watching it on video will have to do. 

Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago that we got married, and other times it feels like just yesterday.

Sure, we've gotten comfortable with each other, and sometimes act like an old married couple, but I love that about us. 

Sometimes Mike drives me nuts, and I'm sure sometimes I drive him nuts too, but I would never give up what we have for anything. 

We're goofy and weird and loving and passionate. 

We sing together, laugh together and play together.

We fight and get upset, and then kiss and hug and make up.

We are the best versions of ourselves when we are together.

I think that all makes up a pretty good marriage, and I cannot wait for what God has in store for us for the next 6 months. 

Or for the next 60 years, if we have the privilege to be together that long. 

The Christmas season is upon us. 

Well at least at the Bouwman house it is.

Mike and I went to the Niverville MCC today, and bought a christmas tree!

We originally wanted to chop down a real one, but when we saw a $30 artificial tree, we decided it would be easier, and went with that. My sister gave us a bunch of lights, and my aunt gave us a bunch of adorable christmas ornaments. 

We also bought more ornaments and a few decorations at the thrift store. 

Spent a lot more than we thought we would!

I'm not gonna lie, I'm usually one of those people who will not allow myself to listen to christmas music, or put up christmas decorations until December 1st. 

But this is mine and Mike's first christmas together, and it just seems right to make it last as long as possible.

So this afternoon was spent decorating for Christmas. 

And yes, we did have christmas music blaring!