forgetting and reliving the past.

being married is amazing. 

owning our own home is so much fun.

but...

sometimes i miss the old days when my biggest concern was whether this boy or that boy liked me.

the simplicity of my mind, and what my thoughts were consumed with.

i was reminiscing the other day about Outtatown, and my experiences on the program.

how only a few years ago, i was just a kid, concerned with how i looked to others and how to make myself attractive to the boy i liked.

i discovered some things about myself while on the program, one being that i put my value in others. 

not just in boys, but in other girls as well.

that was so childish, and i'm so happy i've grown out of that, and i think Outtatown had a big influence in that.

i know now to put my value in God. 

sometimes i wish i could go back to those times.

 i wish i could have all my old friends back.

i wish i could relive all those new experiences and discoveries, and have more.

and i wish i could do it in Guatemala with the same group of people who i was there with over 3 years ago.

but that time in my life is past now, and i need to discover new things.

like how to 

-treat my husband with respect.

-manage our money.

-have time for friends, while still making time for Mike.

-take time for God, and also time for myself.

and there some things i forgot on Outtatown that i need to relive 

like

-morning devos.

-having people i can trust to talk to about my joys and concerns.

-seeing God's beauty in everything, whether its perfect or completely broken.

theres my little rant for tonight.

wishing i could go back, while being incredibly happy in the present. 

i'm really not sure how its possible, but that's just how it is.

heres one incredibly happy moment from the present that i needed to share. 

Mike and i holding my new baby niece, Brynlee.