Someone once told me that everyone has a God-hole, and we try to fill it with everything that makes sense to us, until we realize that only one thing can fill it. It hurts to watch people search and fill that hole with anything but the holy spirit. People are so lost, and you can tell that they are searching for something bigger to fill the hole, some higher power to fill their lives.
I recently realized that I have become victim to this empty "God-hole". I've been really angry with God, wondering where the heck He's hiding, and why He would hide from me, but then I realized that I was trying to fill that hole with anything I could find, and it was just leaving me feeling more empty. I was reading in James the other day, and here's what it told me: "Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is an unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." So when I try to fill that hole with something other than God, my loyalty to Him is shared.. and that is the last thing that God wants. That also answers the question "where was God when I needed Him?", because it says in James that such people should not expect to receive anything from God.
I'm really not sure what to take from this, and how to change how I'm living because of it. I have a lot of stuff to figure out... and I feel like this just makes it much more confusing. But, I believe that once I open myself up to God, and let Him speak to me, He will, and He will make it worthwhile.
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