God's daughter.

This is a message from God, for His daughters.

'No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me.
I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you.
I wont give you away unless he asks for you from me. 
Soon you will know him.
I have the perfect timing.
You are my princess, my daughter.
Let no prince claim you unless he asks me for your hand, for I am your FATHER, the KING of KINGS
YOU, my PRINCESS, are worth loving.'

This is one girl's take on the verse Jeremiah 29:11, which states "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope"

I really appreciated reading this, because I am a daughter of God, and sometimes it's hard to see what He truly wants for me. 
God wants me to hold off for the right guy. He wants me to find someone who loves Him more than he will love me. He wants me to find someone who will treat me right.

God loves me too much to let me be in the hands of someone who isn't right for me.  He is protecting me, because He wants the best for me. 

I don't know about you, but this makes me feel incredibly special.

remember...?

i love this feeling. i felt it today. 

it made me happy in my heart.

to whoever you are... you made my day.

and i don't even know your name.

 Go to google.com
2. Type in, “who’s the cutest?”
3. Click I’m feeling lucky.

now.

a rant.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and he was doing a lot of the talking. he told me that it felt weird, because he rarely does all the talking, and i told him that it was really normal for me, because i'm often the one to sit and listen to other people's stories.

then today, i was sitting on a rock that was slightly in the lake. i started talking to God, and felt like i didn't have much to say. i realized that much like in my conversation yesterday, i wanted to be the one who listened. i didn't want God to listen to me ramble on. i wanted to hear what he's thinking, and what he wanted to talk about. but... since it doesn't really work that way, i decided to give it a try, and be the one to ramble. i talked about a lot of things that were on my mind. i asked a lot of questions, and didn't really come out with any answers, because God is quiet. he speaks in ways that are incredibly hard to figure out... and when i do figure them out, its usually quite far after i initially asked the question.

so i decided that i was okay with that. i'm okay with the way that God works. sometimes it's incredibly frustrating, and i just want to yell and scream, but i know that the answer i'm waiting for will be good. it will be the perfect answer for my life, because i know that God wants me to have the life i've always dreamed of. and i know that if i just wait for his answer, he will give me that life.

experience happiness.

dreams are trippy things. 

they try to make you believe something that is so incredibly not true, and you actually believe it. 

for those 5 minutes that the dream is wrapped up in your mind, you go back to the place that you wish you had been, and will be, forever. 

There's no homesickness, no sadness, no regret. 

just love.

for the place. 

for the people. or should i say person.

for everything about the dream. so why was this dream put in my head? 

to make me mad? 

to tempt me?

how can i be so happy in some imaginary world... and then wake up, and realize that it's not true. that the happiness that i was experiencing was all a lie?

can this be true in life too?

can you experience happiness as a lie?

i guess it's possible. i just hope that it never happens to me.

i want to experience happiness for what it really is... not the way i experienced my dream last night.

the dream that felt so incredibly real. and so wonderful.

that's the worst way to experience happiness if you ask me.

i give myself permission...

I give myself permission to rest.

I give myself permission to laugh.

I give myself permission to play

I give myself permission to make mistakes.

I give myself permission to say “no” to demands that are simply draining.

I give myself permission to say “yes” to what I want.

I give myself permission to fulfill my lifelong dreams.

I give myself permission to ask for what I want.

I give myself permission to be who I am.

I give myself permission to try again.

I give myself permission to have fun.

I give myself permission to design my own life.

I give myself permission to stay focused on what’s important to me.

I give myself permission to be whatever body shape I like.

I give myself permission to be imperfect.

I give myself permission to ask for help.

I give myself permission to stop caring what others think of me.

I give myself permission to create.

i am who i am today, because of the choices i made yesterday.

Today i realized something, and then i read this quote:
"i am who i am today, because of the choices i made yesterday",
and it completely sums up my thoughts.

i had a weird year. things happened that i didn't think would happen, and i changed because of it.
i think i'm a new person now.
i am definitely not the same girl that i was a year ago today.

going on the outtatown program completely changed me. not all of the changes were good, but i'm working through those.

i think God had a reason for sending me on outtatown.
i already had plans for my life, and God knew that i couldn't continue with those plans.
He knew that i could have a better life if i followed him through this year.
He knew that i would change after being on the program, and that my plans wouldn't follow through.

His plans overruled mine.

and now here i am... a changed girl... with no idea where i'm off to next.
taking one step at a time, keeping my life unplanned.
and i'm starting to love it. it's different. and really good.

today i met a boy...

he is wonderful.
his name is nelson, and he likes me for who i am.
he looks at me with wonder in his eyes, and joy in his heart.
i know that he will never look at another girl the way that he looks at me.
i think the best thing about him is the fact that he'll never give up on me.


here he is.

maybe...

I Can't.

You Can.

Please Help.

this is what the preacher in church taught me today.

i am nothing on my own. 

i keep trying to figure things out on my own, and make sure that everything is perfect, when really, its all completely messed up.

i guess i've known all along that its messed up because i've been trying to do things on my own.

i hadn't figured out the "I Can't" part.

but now i have.

maybe now i can start to figure out the "You Can" part.

maybe now, God can actually be a part of my choices and decisions.

maybe now, i will see God working in my life.

maybe.

we'll see.

i am me.

i only wish i could be this cute.

oh well. 

i am me. 

not her. 

i guess i can be cute in my own ways. 

:)

believe it.

this is a struggle.
a major struggle.

why can't i see that this is truth?
He will make things work out.

He has a plan.
i just need to trust Him.

this is difficult.

i want to go my own way.
i don't want to wait...

but i know that i have to. i have to wait, and be still. i have to pray. i have to listen.
He is Omniscient. All Knowing, All Powerful.

i think this means that i need to put everything in His hands. it's all safer there than in mine. right?

yes. believe it, courtney.

do you ever dream...?

Do you ever have a dream, in which you are with someone who you don't know, but it feels like you know them?

you could be best friends with them, or be in love with them. but only in the dream.

do you ever wonder, if it's possible that the person in your dream is a real person, somewhere out there?

do you ever wonder if you might meet that person?

would you recognize them?

would they act the same that they did in the dream? have the same feelings?

could you be the same two people in real life as you were in the dream?




not that i ever wonder these things... do you?