a rant.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, and he was doing a lot of the talking. he told me that it felt weird, because he rarely does all the talking, and i told him that it was really normal for me, because i'm often the one to sit and listen to other people's stories.

then today, i was sitting on a rock that was slightly in the lake. i started talking to God, and felt like i didn't have much to say. i realized that much like in my conversation yesterday, i wanted to be the one who listened. i didn't want God to listen to me ramble on. i wanted to hear what he's thinking, and what he wanted to talk about. but... since it doesn't really work that way, i decided to give it a try, and be the one to ramble. i talked about a lot of things that were on my mind. i asked a lot of questions, and didn't really come out with any answers, because God is quiet. he speaks in ways that are incredibly hard to figure out... and when i do figure them out, its usually quite far after i initially asked the question.

so i decided that i was okay with that. i'm okay with the way that God works. sometimes it's incredibly frustrating, and i just want to yell and scream, but i know that the answer i'm waiting for will be good. it will be the perfect answer for my life, because i know that God wants me to have the life i've always dreamed of. and i know that if i just wait for his answer, he will give me that life.